The Future We Build Together
by NightFallFanciulla
Summary: Kido never realized she wanted so much. From her family, from Dan, from Kano. She knows that her family and Dan will meet her expectations, but will she get the future she wanted with Kano? Or is she being too selfish expecting so much? Mainly KanoxKido, but includes others as well. AU.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Kido lay in bed tossing. She couldn't get sleep at all. She felt too jittery, after all she hadn't expected the adoption. And she was with the other two boys, Shuuya and Kosuke.

The family that had adopted them seemed fairly nice enough. But that didn't do anything to make her feel any better, why them? She just wished she would just disappear.

Now lying in bed, in the same room as her new big-sister, she felt nervous and unsettled. And even hungry. She didn't want to stay at the table to long so she had very little and left early pretending to be asleep. Ayano had come in a little later and asked her if she was okay, but she adamantly kept her act. But Ayano kept talking anyway.

"I know that you're not exactly comfortable but I'll do my best to be you're ideal big-sister and make you feel at home. I don't know what you've been through , how you ended up in the orphanage, but I know that from now on as a family, we'll all try to keep you three happy", Kido didn't see her smile but she knew from Ayano's words that she was smiling. "If you ever need any one to talk to remember you have your Onee-chan. I always did want siblings especially a little sister so don't mind me if I dote on you a bit, hm", she laughed a bit to herself and Kido heard her open her wardrobe door to probably take out her night clothes and then she left.

It wasn't long after when she came back and got to bed before saying, "I always slept with mom and dad, this is the first time I'm sleeping with someone else. I'm glad I became you're big-sister but I wish you'd stayed up so we could talk a bit." Kido heard Ayano sigh, something both guilty and fluffy rising inside of her; guilty because she didn't stay up to talk to Ayano but she felt happy at the same time cause no one ever told her they wanted to talk to _her_.

When she was sure Ayano was asleep, Kido removed the cover from her face and turned to look at her sister. For the first time then she felt happy that she was adopted by this family. She wished that she had stayed up to talk to Ayano and then probably even fall asleep with her.

But then her stomach growled and she remembered how little she ate.

They were shifting to their new home so Kido didn't get much to eat all day anyway, and now the hunger ate at her, preventing her from falling asleep. But she didn't really want to go out because she feared someone might still be up there and they'd see her.

It's funny how many other emotions hunger can bring along guilt, for not giving her new parents and sister a chance at introduction at the table, for not showing enough confidence in them, in _herself_ ; sorrow, because Ayano reminded her of her _real_ sister; fear, of a lot of stuff and most of all she started to feel that maybe she wasn't supposed to be her, that the family's kindness was just wasted on her, like she didn't fit in and maybe this was all a mistake, they shouldn't have taken her in.

After tossing for a while, her hunger got the better of her and she left the safety of her bed and cover.

She made her way to the kitchen in the dark. Bending over the open fridge her eyes searched for anything that would satisfy her hunger. she picked the leftovers from dinner and closed the fridge only to realize she wasn't alone in the kitchen.

Shuuya.

He flinched when she saw him tip-toeing out of the kitchen. Now that Kido noticed him he turned to her with an awkward smile on his face, rubbing the back of his neck, "Uh, I thought that you might want to be alone, you know, that you didn't want anyone to see, because you left the table so early and then now sneaking food at the middle of the night and stuff "

He was wearing the scarf. Her scarf, the one she gave him. It made her smile.

Seeing her smile he stopped mid-sentence and smiled back at her. "It's not that I wanted to be alone to be honest, I was just a bit, I don't know, awkward maybe and a bit frightened, it was all so sudden I guess I just didn't know how to act", she shrugged.

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Act?" He cracked up laughing all of a sudden, surprising her. "They're family now, you don't have to act. And even if you're not comfortable then I'm always there for you", he said, sending her a wink.

She felt her cheeks warm and she nodded. "Thank you"

It seemed to surprise him. But he shook it off with a grin. "Don't sweat it." He nodded at the food in her hands. "The food probably still tastes great, though I think it would have tasted better warm. Next time fill your stomach at the table okay?"

Kido winced a bit but then nodded. Just when Shuuya turned to leave, a thought occurred to her. "Um, if you want a bit, I can share you know, I'm not that hungry." She lied but she didn't want him to go back just like that because of her.

He had a puzzled look when he turned, "What makes you think I'm hungry?"

Crap, this is why she hated interacting with people, her intuition was always wrong. "No it's just that there's no one up now and its pretty late " What was she rambling about, of course it was late! " and since you're in the kitchen this late I thought maybe even you were hungry, or something like that," she trailed out.

Her rambling made Shuuya smile. "No I wasn't hungry I just couldn't get sleep", he smirked at her. "After all, it's not every day you get a new family all that excitement hasn't died out."

Then because she was a kid and he put up such a nice act she believed him. Not only her, but everyone believed him. She realized later that she should have seen through his act, that he was actually hurting not happy.

But then, she took all of his lies. Maybe because of his act, or maybe for her solace.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **A Few Years Later**

"Many sunfish babies die, so I feel sorry for them.

But if they all lived, the world would become full of them."

Kano read out from the paper he was carrying.

Everyone turned at him, confused, but Marry's reaction cleared the confusion a little too quick. I couldn't believe this guy.

Marry was this girl Seto found the woods near-by. She didn't talk much about herself, but she seemed like a timid, but sweet girl, so we took her in. Since the day she joined us, Kano had been teasing her non-stop saying it was all to make her feel home.

Sighing, I got up and took the paper he was refraining from Marry into my own hands. Even though, Kano was the tallest among us when we were kids, over time both me and Seto outgrew him. So while he was tall enough to keep it from Marry with his outstretched hands, I had an advantage of an inch over him.

After handing the poem back to a teary-eyed Marry, I turned back to Kano and smacked him in the head. He held the spot I hit him and looked up at me. "That hurt", he whined.

"Still less than what you deserved", I replied before reverting my attention to Marry.

She was adorable and beautiful in ways hardly possible. Long, wavy, white hair that literally looked like a blanket of fur, pinkish-red eyes and porcelain skin. She looked like a doll, literally.

When I turned to her, Seto was already comforting her, murmuring into her ears. They'd got unbelievably close in just the week after he found her. In the past two years, all that's left for them is to become a couple. But her childish nature made Seto more of a guardian to her, and he keeps insisting that it's the way they'd rather stay now.

Whatever he said to her, made her smile, the excess color slowly draining from her face. She nodded and then Seto turned to Kano and me. "We're heading out for a bit, we'll be back in, I guess two hours."

Marry grinned and nodded.

I knew where they were headed. After mom and dad's accident last year, we've been on a constrain, hardly let out. There was a park near-by though, and whenever Marry got seriously upset, to put her mind off the matter, Seto would take her there.

When they left Kano looked at me his mischievous expression changing into something painful.

So that's why he read Marry's poem.

"Sorry, I just wanted to be alone with you for a while. Do you think I over did it?" He asked me.

I shook my head. He probably had a nightmare again. He does this when he has them, because he knows that Seto will take Marry out and then we'd be left alone. Deceiving and tricking people like that was his forte after all.

Each of us in Mekakushi-Dan is an epitome, a prodigy.

I could conceal anything, emotions, lies even the truth. And if needed I knew how to hide me too.

Kano was excellent at deceiving people. He could do something for personal profit and it'd seem like he was only teasing, like he did just now.

Seto had an excellent intuition. He could guess what you're thinking so precisely, it was almost psychic.

Onee-chan was exceptionally good at conveying her feelings. Good enough to make you feel what she's going through.

Shintaro-kun, onee-chan's boyfriend, his memory was incontrovertible.

His younger sister, Momo, she always had all eyes on her. Whether she wanted it or not she was always the centre of attention.

Ene-san, one-chan's sempai was quintessential with computers.

Konoha-kun, Ene-san's boyfriend even though had a weak memory, and a frail looking body was inhumanly strong.

Hibiya-kun, our (foster) cousin's best friend, was so good with directions; he could map out a place after only being there once.

Marry, despite the naïve appearance, was a descendent of assassins. But yeah, all we were told about her was that we didn't want to get on her wrong side.

We were supposed to be the future of Japan, the next rulers, the coming government. Though of course it was after all of us turned eighteen, so thanks to Hibiya, Momo and Marry we still have a few more years to go.

I sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to mine. Instead of sitting next to me, Kano came and sat on my lap. I stared at him, wide-eyed. "I prefer looking down at people when I talk", he grinned, as if making a joke out of his own height. He wasn't the type was guy who was normally sensitive about his height, but sometimes I guess, it got to him. The fact that he used to be the tallest and now all of us tower over him.

"You're kinda heavy, ya know", I told him. He was actually, but I don't think he put all his weight on me, it was mostly on his legs which were at my sides.

Even if I said that, I didn't really mind. This wasn't the first time after all.

He buried his face in the curve of my neck. "Mom", it was always only the one thing he'd say. And every time he did, it made my heart squeeze in pain for him.

I didn't know how much longer I could hold out for. This urge to hold him each time gets stronger. But the thing was he was my brother. Yea, maybe foster, but still my brother.

I didn't just _love_ my 'brother'. I was _in love_ with him.

Wouldn't he think of me as disgusting if he knew that?

And it's not a feeling that just came up. I don't remember exactly when I fell in love with Kano. Maybe it was when I first met him in the park. Or when I saw him in the orphanage. Or that night I saw him wear the scarf I gave him. I don't know when, I don't know how, but at times like this or during our late night conversations in the kitchen, I knew why I loved him.

I loved this side of his, the side that he doesn't show anyone but me.

The first time he did this, I was honestly shocked. I didn't know how to react.

It was late at night and I couldn't sleep so I went to the kitchen, hoping he'd be there. And he was. But unlike usual, he looked shaken. When he saw me though, he grinned. I think it was a month after the shift, and because I think I needed it the most then, it had become routine to meet-up in the kitchen. I don't remember him not being there except for once or twice. He was always there, right there when I needed him. One of the many reasons why I loved him.

"Hey", Kano said, still grinning at me.

I'd seen that deceiving grin of his before. It was almost convincing and while I knew he was lying, even I wasn't entirely sure. So at first I didn't say anything, quietly going and sitting next to him on the floor. If I hadn't seen him shaken before or didn't see through the demeanor he was trying to put up, his position on the floor gave him away. He was sitting in a corner, with him legs pulled up so his knees where under his chin.

I simply shook my head at him, in a way to tell him I wasn't buying the act. His grin drooped a little, but he tried to put it back. This time I raised an eyebrow.

His expression changed after that. He was still smiling, but now it held something else. Sorrow.

He wrapped his arms back around his legs reverting to the position I first saw him in. He put his head on his arms, saying, "I saw her today."

"Saw who?"

"Mom."

He didn't say anything else after that, and I didn't ask him anything, it seemed inappropriate then. Also, I knew that if anything he always hid what his life was like with his mother. It made me think back to when I first saw his scars in the park, the ones he briskly hid after he fell. He tried to cover up the pain with a grin and after that one; I never bought any of his smiles. I could always tell if he was trying to cover something up or if it was genuine.

That night in the kitchen, I didn't know what to do. But I wanted to help him like he had always helped me, to comfort him in a way. Unlike him, I wasn't the type to talk a lot, I knew I wouldn't be able to talk away his pain, and if I kept quiet he'd think I found something like this awkward or embarrassing, so he'd try to cover it up and he wouldn't ever confide in me again.

I didn't want that. The thought of it made me desperate to do something, so I hugged him. Getting up from my place I shifted so I was in front of him and wrapped my arms around him. At first he was surprised then he hugged me back tightly.

After a few more time, he'd even start crying at times.

Now, both of us had grown reliant on each other, venting out only in each other's presence. It was the one time when I felt closest to him. In a way I both longed for this and dreaded it.

Though today, Kano wasn't crying. He just said that and then stayed that way. I wrapped an arm around him, the other wounding up in his hair. I ran my fingers through his blonde hair, the way I knew he liked it, he said it was 'comforting'

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but then he pulled away. "I always only show my uncool side to you, huh."

I knew it. This time there was something else bothering him.

Mom and dad were going to the train station that day the accident took place. They rarely head out together, but that day they had some important meeting or something. Dad forgot some file of his, and one-chan found it only after he left. So Kano took the file to get it to them. When the truck hit them, he was the only one present. It was a deserted street and the truck driver didn't stop after he ran over them and the ambulance took a lot of time to get there. The injuries were severe so they ended up dying over there before any help arrived.

The incident always seemed to haunt Kano. He knew something no one else did about the accident, but he'd never tell. I knew he wouldn't tell, it was a bad habit of his, to keep whatever's hurting him to himself.

I tried to make him talk many times, but he wouldn't comply. I didn't want to push him that hard either, I did once to make him talk about his mom, he avoided me for a whole month after that, till I cornered him and apologized. After the apology though, he went back to normal, as if the past month hadn't taken place.

I know I was being selfish, trying to avoid that again, but I just couldn't go through that another time.

But I don't think it was the accident that was bothering him this time, or his mom. He was lying from the beginning saying it was a nightmare. There was something else on his mind.

Even these times came sometimes. When I knew there was something else bothering him, but if I pointed it out, he'd insist it wasn't.

It'd always stung when he did that. While this was our most intimate time together, the fact that there's so much he still doesn't tell me, the fact that I hardly know him comes back and hits me like a truck itself.

I shook my head at his statement. "Even if it is uncool, it's just me here, so it's fine." I didn't know if I should be asking him, and even if I did I knew he'd just dodge it. But still, I wanted to try.

Untangling my hand from his hair, I used it to cup his cheek. "It's not just her, is it? There's something else on your mind. Did something happen?"

Kano laughed a bit bitterly. "For something to be wrong with me, nothing really needs to happen. Everything could be going nice and happy, but I'd still be this way. So it doesn't really matter."

See, trying to dodge it again.

I wasn't backing down that easily this time either.

"It's only because you keep everything to yourself. Maybe if you talked, it wouldn't be that way."

Another snort. "You think? That's just how I am it'll always be that way", he shot back, his voice slightly raised, venom in his words.

I felt anger bubbling in my gut. Instead of pushing it away like I normally did, I let it burn a bit more. "Your way of saying that even after all these years, all this time, you still don't trust me enough."

There, I said it. It was a thought that wouldn't stop running through my head, it even kept me up at night, but I didn't want to ruin everything by saying it.

Shock struck his features. "What?! No! I mean "

I pulled my hands back. The one that cupped his face and the one wrapped around him.

"You mean what? That even if you do talk it's pointless, that nothing will change, that it doesn't matter?"

He nodded and that blew it. The anger I'd been fuelling, exploded just like that.

"Have you ever tried that you'd know if it works, if it matters?! NO! So don't' say you know it's pointless. I don't get it with you. You think you can shoulder all the pain by yourself and it'll be fine! You think that you don't need anyone you can handle it by yourself. You think that you'd be a burden if you talk. You just go and keep assuming things on your own and you think you're right. You know what? You're not. You're just scared that if you told anyone it'll leave you defenseless, that you'll be bare and won't have anything to protect yourself with, that if you were to put it all out you'll get just get judged, hurt and you won't even be able to protect yourself anymore. Even though you say you can hold it all yourself that you're strong enough, you're actually just scared. Of being left bare, unprotected so anyone can hurt you. Even if you say you trust us, you're still scared, you still don't fully trust us."

Kano stared at me, unblinking, completely perplexed.

Shit, I over did it.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Whatever happened after I said all that was a blur. The bell rang, and Kano left wordlessly to open the door.

Momo, Ene-san, Konoha-kun, Hibiya-kun and Hiyori made their way into the hall, Kano following behind them.

"Since onii-chan, and Ayano-san are away on a vacation, maybe we should have a break of our own", Momo explained, smiling at me.

Shintaro-kun and onee-chan had been dating for a year now but Momo was bothered by the fact they hadn't made any 'progress'. So she sent them away for a two-day, one-night trip to an onsen.

I grinned at her, trying to hide the fact I really wanted to cry then. "Sure. Seto and Marry are out though, they'll probably be gone for an hour or two."

Ene-san plopped down next to me. "Did something happen?"

I really didn't want to look at Kano but if I didn't then they might guess something was wrong. So I turned and nodded at Kano, shaking my head at him when he answered with a grin.

Hibiya-kun scowled. "Now what did he do?"

"I read out the _beautiful_ poem she wrote", Kano replied, almost proudly.

"Do you still have it?" Ene-san asked, now intrigued. But when Kano shook his head at her she groaned. "Couldn't you wait till we got here. Man, I missed the fun."

"I hope they get back quick", Konoha-kun said.

"Like really quick, no one else here can cook besides Ayano-nee-chan and Seto-kun, and I'm starved", Momo whined.

I smiled while Ene-san and Hiyori rolled their eyes and Hibiya groaned, "Can you two think of something besides your stomach."

Momo nodded. "We also think of what we're gonna fill our stomach with."

I broke down laughing with the rest, but then Kano caught my eye. He wasn't laughing like the rest of us. Since no one was looking at him, he stared straight at me with a blank look on his face and my heart skipped a beat.

But then he looked away.

Now what am I going to do?

They decided to stay over for the night. Which is why I was squeezed between Marry and Ene-san. Hiyori and Momo took my and onee-chan's beds, and me Marry and Ene-san were forced to the floor.

Since Marry had come, she'd always be sleeping between me and onee-chan, so I guess she'd be more comfortable with me. Even though with the beds joined there was place for one more person, Ene-san chose the floor.

I had a rough idea why.

When I was sure everyone was asleep, I debated on whether to call her out first or wait for her to start. By the time I decided, she spoke up. "Kano was really moody today wasn't he?"

Of course it surprised her. In fact everyone was caught off guard by Kano's temperamental attitude today. _I've_ never seen him like that before. For the first time, he didn't try to hide he was upset for too long.

So of course Ene-san would suspect me if something happened. She didn't have an intuition like Seto's but she wasn't an idiot. Unlike the rest, including Seto too.

"Hm", I didn't really know what to say to that.

"And does it have anything to do with you by any chance?"

When I started to protest, she stopped me. "Don't even try. All of us know there's a little something going between you two, and he's obviously angry about something. Since none of us have done anything I can only assume it was you. Well either ways it'd be you, you're the only one he's so sensitive towards."

"Sensitive? Towards me?" Okay, honestly that caught me off guard.

Even if I didn't see her do it, I could feel her roll her eyes. "Yes, you. I'm not really stupid, ya know. I've noticed how Kano reacts differently if it's you. Yea, most of the time he's indifferent, but he's definitely different with you. More genuine, I guess. More open. Normally he doesn't even try to hide his expressions with you, unlike how he has a mask around with us."

Oh so she noticed.

"We had a fight", I admitted.

"And he's pissed."

"I'm not sure if he's pissed or upset."

"Then you should find out and make up already", she said and then yawned, stretching. "It's not the same with you two giving each other the cold shoulder."

"Yeah."

"Well then, 'night."

"Hm."

I waited for a while and when I was sure she was asleep I sneaked into the kitchen to see if Kano was there.

He wasn't.

The next morning, the door bell rang while we were all having breakfast. It wasn't onee-chan for sure, they were only going to get here in the evening.

Kano left quietly to open the door. Unlike yesterday's subdued show of the fact he was upset, it wasn't so subtle anymore.

Whoever was at the door, Kano clearly didn't like them. He came back in almost stomping his feet, with a woman in suit following him.

Ah, her.

The organization that took care was us want directly the government, but an organization that worked under it. So we haven't ever actually been in contact with the government officials but the ones from the Future Organization do come in frequently. It was probably a new training regimen.

Ever since mom and dad's accident, Kano became really bitter toward them. Whenever they'd show up he'd be in a much-too obvious bad mood. At first he hid it behind sarcasm and back-answers, and then it got more prominent. Now he doesn't even bother to hide his dislike for them. Kano isn't really the type to be so open with his feelings so at first it was a surprise for us.

Though I think I get why he does it. He isn't trying to be open with his feelings and I know he wouldn't even if someone were to try to force him into it. I tried it once, didn't work. He's doing it because he wants them to know something, and in an unspoken way, to tell us something about them. I don't really know what but I know there's something he knows and if he's giving this sort of an attitude to them, he also knows that there's nothing they can do about it. Something obviously happened that day he saw mom and dad die, but he chose to keep it to himself; or maybe he was forced to.

I never trusted these people myself. Every proof they have that they're doing this with government consent could have been forged. And while we had no reason to doubt them, we had no reason to trust them either. But mom and dad did, they took us in because of these people, so I never said anything about it.

"Kisaragi-kun and Tateyama-san seem to be away", the official started.

"It's a weekend. Don't tell me we need to give you a detailed entry of what we do and where we go on holidays", Kano snapped.

She shot him a cold look.

Even if it we had vacations, they were only from school. Though no much, we still had to do stuff during the week days leaving us only free during the weekends.

"Of course not. I believe there's nothing wrong with a bit of curiosity is there?"

Oh god, why were they turning this into one of their cold fights?

Since Tomaharu-san was the official who mostly came to us, Kano aimed all his hostility towards her. she never held back either. So our eager wait for them to leave would just keep dragging. Normally, I shut him up, I didn't know what to do now. He made it very clear that he was mad at me, I didn't want to make it worse.

Ene-san wacked Kano at the back of his head. "Shut up, will ya', idiot?"

He snorted and folded his arms against his chest before turning and giving me a cold look as if challenging me. My heart almost skipped out of my chest.

I turned away from him and looked towards Tomaharu-san, pretending to focus all my attention to her while trying to fight back a blush.

"No, I guess not." He snorted, "Though please, it's kinda gross when people like you get 'curious' about our where-abouts. Kindly keep the _curiosity_ to yourself."

What was this guy trying to do? No wait, I already knew. He wasn't picking a fight with her this time, he was picking one with me.

"Kano, please", I told him, hoping my voice dissolved in air before it got to him.

Tomaharu-san cleared her throat, before Kano came up with some reply. I sneaked a glance at him. His expression was a mixture of surprise and hurt.

I knew I shouldn't have said anything.

"For a week from tomorrow, you all will be headed to the capital. Unlike your other regiments, I suggest you take this one seriously", Tomaharu-san said.

"And why? Why to Tokyo even? Why not just here?" Kano butted.

"Even if you have a few years to go, you need to be comfortable with every situation you're all put in. With how all of you are now, individually you're all excellent but as a group you all might lag. Group work isn't something you can improve in just some time, so from now on, every month, you will be heading to some other part of the country, to familiarize yourselves with both the place and yourselves."

"What about school?" Momo asked.

"And here I thought it'd be the greatest relief to you", Ene-san smirked at her.

Momo grinned. "I am happy of course. And I guess I won't even have my idol work then?" Tomaharu-san nodded. "Even so-" Momo went on, "won't it seem fishy? If we all disappear _together_ at the same time _every_ month?"

"That will be taken care of, you don't have to worry about it", Tomaharu-san said. "When Tateyama-san and Kisaragi-kun get back, I hope you all explain this to them. Wouldn't want them to be clueless the next morning, would we?" She gave Kano a smug look.

Kano didn't say anything. He just made a foul face and walked out of the room. I wanted to go after him, ask him what was wrong, and even if he didn't answer console him.

But I didn't.

* * *

 **Oh lord, I'm so sorry I didn't update for like three weeks. I have no excuse, I was just lazy so yea, I'm really** _ **really**_ **sorry. And bout their fight, I promise it won't continue for long and I'll try to update every week. XD**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

That evening when Ayano-onee-chan and Shintaro-kun came home, Ene-san and Momo pounced on them, asking them if they made any 'progress'. Onee-chan went scarlet, and Shintaro-kun rubbed the back of his neck, color rising on his cheeks.

I grinned. It was a definite yes.

Onee-chan laughed. "What do you mean progress? The springs were really good though, ya all should have come."

"Yea but if we did come", Ene-san said, smirking. "Both of you wouldn't look so bright and happy."

Shintaro-kun choked on the water Hiyori got him. When he didn't stop coughing onee-chan patted his back till he stopped. He gulped in more water, and then looked at us with a red face. Despite the fact that he just choked to death, all of us cracked up.

Kano seemed mostly fine, but he hadn't said anything till now, and when onee-chan glanced at him and then turned to me, I knew she figured. This wasn't the first after all.

Both me and Kano were avoiding her glance. Though for me, it was useless. She'd corner me at night anyways.

And she did. I was alone with onee-chan this night.

Marry fell asleep on Seto's lap while we were watching a movie and he didn't want to disturb her sleep much (I really don't get what that was for, her sleep is so deep she could sleep through a cyclone, but yea Sweetheart Seto), so he gently shifted her to the carpet, placing her head on the pillow I got her. And he slept next to her. It wasn't anything new, this happened every movie night. I don't know, maybe Seto has a thing for sleeping Marry (or Marry in general). I've actually seen him stare at her with a smile on her face, even moving a strand or two from her face.

Maybe it was something romantic; to me it looked downright creepy.

And that's why I keep telling him to just ask her out already. I guess, I picked the wrong target; it's _her_ I should be pressurizing.

Kano would do it without a second thought. I missed him so much.

The others all, besides Shintaro-kun left. He was with Kano for the night. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to switch. It'd be nice if I could talk to him. But then when I saw Kano talking to him, I chickened out.

So yea, onee-chan had me cornered.

Before she started anything, I said, "How was it?"

"The onsen?" She asked, ever so clueless.

"Pfft, no. I mean you're first. How was it?" I smirked at her. If I got her really embarrassed, she wouldn't think of Kano and me.

I couldn't really see in the dark but from her stammering I figured she was probably tomato red. "Wh-what first? I-I've been to onsens many o-other times, you know."

"Oh come one, Aya-nee, I know you know what I'm talking about."

"Haha no. St-stop. Seriously." She exhaled loudly and I turned to see her hands move up to her face in the dark. "All of you are just too much. Yes, we did it and it was really awkward but Shintaro was so nice and gen-"

Okay, so maybe this wasn't a good idea. Like hell no, I don't wanna know bout my sis and her boyfriend's whoopee.

I cut her off before she'd continue. "Nee stop, stop. I don't wanna know trust me. I'm satisfied knowing you did the deed, I don't need all the details."

Onee-chan sighed. "Now that you know please make Sempai and Momo-chan stop. Especially in front of Shintaro, do you even realize how embarrassing that is?"

The first thought that came to my mind was how I'd react if someone asked me the same about me and Kano. Except that I'm sure it wouldn't ever come to that. Even if we did make up. Everyone thinks of us as siblings.

The thought foiled my mood but I needed onee-chan to sleep fast. It might turn out the same as yesterday but I wanted to go to the kitchen once.

I asked her how the trip was in _general_. And that's all it took to get her ranting. Even if most of her sentences were made up of 'Shintaro', I managed to make a draft of how the trip went; and I got her tired enough to fall asleep.

I waited for a while then headed for the kitchen.

My heart lurched when I saw the silhouette of his back.

But then I started doubting my decision. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. The whole time I was so focused on finding him alone that I didn't think of what to tell him. I really wanted to groan. This had to be the most cliché mistake ever.

Debating on whether I should go in or not, I tried to keep myself out of his vision. It wasn't anything hard for me, it came out naturally. I couldn't think of anything but a lame 'sorry' to say so I figured I'd go for what I was best at.

Tip-toeing as silently as I could I moved till I was right behind him, before, again very cliché yes, but since this was all I could think of, I wrapped my hands around him. At first he was startled, but then he just settled down.

I felt my stomach flip. He recognizes my embrace.

The discovery threw me off for a moment, but it lasted only a moment long. I turned my mouth against his ear and murmured. "I'm sorry. I got carried away from all the anger I felt then, and you know I don't really get pissed much, so when I did I couldn't really hold it in. I'm sorry."

He took my hands and then moved them from around him so he could turn to face me. Again, I couldn't read what was going through him, but I figured it wasn't good. He had a blank look in his eyes. It definitely wasn't good.

Laughing he said, "What are you apologizing about? You were right. I not the kind of guy who can trust others, and I don't even try. I didn't know it was such a burden to you, if you didn't say that I wouldn't know that all my bullshit was problem for you."

Huh? What the hell was he talking about?

"Hold it, hold it", I stopped him. "What do you mean burden? I never said anything like that."

He knew. He knew what I meant but he's still saying all this crap.

"I mean that I won't come to you with all my problems again. I knew it'd be a burden to you but I still wanted to, cause I thought it was okay if it was you. But I guess that just cause you'd disclose to me sometimes doesn't mean I should start weighing you down with all my issues."

Yesterday he acted up that attitude because he clearly didn't agree with me on opening. He was acting like a kid who was scolded by his mother. But since he was acting mostly normal today after the official left, I thought he was fine. But it obviously wasn't. He was still giving me that attitude. Okay, now he was pissing me off.

"I'm sorry I did it up to now, I didn't mean to put you through all that", he continued with his nonsensual nonsense.

This time, I wasn't holding back. I slapped him.

"You know that's not what I meant!" I said trying to keep my voice down. But I was so mad at him, I was struggling. "You know, but you're still doing this drama. I honestly can't believe you, coming up with shit like that. You know that's not what I meant, you won't be acting like that yesterday if you thought that what you did was a burden. So stop it with this crap! I don't even know what you're trying to do acting like a brat like this. GROW. UP."

All the anger had my vision blurred and I just turned away and walked out of the kitchen without giving him a second glance.

Walking out I realized my anger wasn't the only thing that clouded my vision, there were tears too.

During breakfast and through packing, I ignored him completely. Kano kept trying to meet my gaze, but I ignored him. If my eyes were to meet his, I gave him a cold glare and moved away.

I was pissed. And I made it known to everyone.

Thanks to our fight though, the train to Tokyo was very awkward, the silence occasionally being filled by Seto and Marry's awkward attempt at disrupting the atmosphere. Konoha-kun and Momo kept eating till Konoha-kun fell asleep with his head on Ene-san's lap.

Onee-chan was sitting next to Kano and Shintaro-kun next to me. It was unbearably awkward but I wasn't giving in so easy. I was pissed at Kano and he needed to know that.

But after last night, he had been incredibly silent, to the point where I'd feel guilty at times. I've never raised my hand on anyone before but I hit him so that he'd know how mad he actually made me.

When we got to the hotel, all of us headed to our rooms first. We all had separate rooms and it was a long time since I'd been in alone in a room. I started unpacking trying to ignore the unsettled feeling in my gut. It wasn't like I haven't been alone in my and onee-chan's room so it shouldn't faze me.

Still somehow, the room was a lot like the one in my family home. White, empty and silent.

Just thinking of it almost brought tears and I made myself stop thinking for now. I knew where this would go next. I didn't wasn't to think of it. Especially not when I didn't even have _him_.

I left the room as early as I could, making my way to the main hall where we were all supposed to assemble.

After getting there, a different official, one I hadn't seen before. He told us since this was the first time it would be easy. In the end, I guess it was a stimulation program, there was a locked room case and we were to make it before it was time up. And then when we get out we were supposed to make it out of the building without alerting the guards.

So by the time I got back, I was exhausted. And it was supposed to be an 'easy' task. I took a shower and then put on these pajama shorts onee-chan had given me. I never really wore them before cause I didn't like exposing my legs above my knee, and these shorts were like _really_ short. Okay maybe not that short but to me it was a lot and I didn't have the confidence to wear 'em. But yea, I was alone now, so I guess it was okay.

And then the bell rang.

For a moment there, I freaked. I took in a few breaths and headed to the door. Inhaling deeply, hoping it was Ayano-nee I opened the door.

Thou it wasn't onee-chan. Like I'd be that lucky. But even bad luck had its limits and this just totally crossed it. I'd even take Ene-san's bulling than this.

Why out of all people it could have been, was it Kano?

 **A/N: I'm not a cliffhanger girl, I swear. And the next chapter will have good stuff too ;PP.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I let out the breath I realized I'd been holding and reminded myself that I was supposed to be mad at him.

And then I notice his eyes skimming over my bare arms and legs.

Can I just die already?

I cleared my throat. "Do you need anything?" My question came out abrupt and my embarrassment made it more rapid. But somehow the fact that he just checked me out made me happy. Really happy. Man, I sound so sappy.

But all that giddiness faded away when I realized I went too far, I sounded way too rude. I could say from his suddenly clouded eyes. "Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd be a nuisance to you. I'm sorry," he apologized again and then started to turn away, but I caught his wrist.

"Don't be stupid, I'm not busy", I tell him. "What even would I be busy with?"

He turned back to face me. "Oh yea, sorry."

"Stop apologizing", I told him and then let go of his hand, stepping aside from the door, signaling him to get in. Reluctantly, he got in. When I closed the door, he said, "You don't really have to, you know. It's not really that important."

I almost rolled my eyes. God, when he's guilty, he's literally almost annoying. I wanted the normal Kano back. I can't even stay that mad at him any longer. So I softened my voice a bit. "But you're here anyways, so you might as well talk."

Kano swallowed and then nodded. "First off", he looked at me right in the eye, "do you hate me now?"

His question threw me off. Then I remember that I slapped him so maybe the question was not so off. I shook my head, "you should know, do I?"

For a moment there, he looked shocked. Then he looked down, his face turning slightly red. "No", he said softly. "But if you do I wouldn't be that surprised, I deserve it for acting like a brat."

"Yeah, you do", I agreed. "But I still don't. I can't."

He looked up and frowned at me but I just smiled. Kano sighed and walked over to my bed and flopped down. "Man, I'm so relieved. I thought you'd stay pissed a little longer. I couldn't go through that, just two days was killing me."

"Three", I corrected him, holding back a grin. I wanted to laugh, and squeal, and cry at the same time.

Walking over to my bed, I sat next to him and lied down, leaning toward him a bit.

"I missed you", I told him.

He didn't answer at first then uttered a "same" in a low voice.

Both of us lay there, in a comfortable silence, neither of us breaking it for a long time. Then he spoke up.

"My mother used to hit me", he said, and then paused as if waiting for a reply from me. "I know", I told him and then glanced at him. It didn't seem to faze him, but he didn't turn to me, all his attention focused on the ceiling.

Before we met at the orphanage, I met him once at a park near the orphanage, though he showed up a day or two after that. When we were all playing at the park, he was away from the rest of us at first, but then Seto dragged him in. One of the boys had pulled a stunt, and maybe it was because Kano wanted to fit in, but he tried imitating that guy.

But he slipped and fell.

I don't think anyone else noticed it, but when he fell, the sleeve of the long shirt he was wearing, slid up a bit, revealing gruesome marks underneath. Most of them looked a few days old, and a few looked like they were made the day before. Kano desperately covered it up and then smiled at all of us, while the rest of them laughed at him. He played with us just fine after that, so even if someone did see anything I'm sure they'd have forgotten. And Seto had gone to drink water with a few of the other kids, so he hadn't seen it either.

I knew Kano knew that I saw those, but neither of us ever said anything. The smile he gave us back then, thanks to that I knew his actual smiles from his 'deceiving' smiles.

Later on, when he was introduced at the orphanage, we were told that he lived alone with his working mother, since his father died a little after he was born. So I figured that she was one who inflicted all those scars on him. But he seemed to be very attached to her, and despite the fact she abused him, he defended her by hiding the beatings or lying about them. Maybe that's where he got his 'deceiving' talent from.

Like how my family background gave me my 'hiding' talent.

"Despite that, she brought me up alone, I justified her actions to _myself_ by saying that it was stress", he said. "Stress though didn't seem like a good enough excuse for others. So I hid it instead. Long sleeves, fake smiles, even I myself brought my own lies sometimes. I just didn't want anyone to say anything bad about her you know.

"But that day when you gave me that knowing look, for the first time, I doubted myself. I felt like stress wasn't good enough. I almost spoke back to her that day.

"And then, a few goons got in. I was the one who opened the door, so they almost killed me that day."

He paused for a moment and then rolled over to me, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my chest. Which, despite the moment, reminded me how flat I really was.

"She took the knife for me", he murmured.

My breath hitched at his statement. I wrapped my arms back around him, squeezing him a bit.

"I can't believe I actually thought of her that way", he said, in a pained voice.

"It was normal. Anyone would. But what you did for her I think no one or only a few people would. She knew that you loved her, and she must have been happy, proud to be the mother of someone like you. I'm sure she loved you and the reason she took the knife was probably to make up for what she did."

"She could have done it alive."

"And maybe she would. But even then, she protected you Kano, saved you. So for both of you, you need to forgive yourself and move on. You did nothing wrong. As long as you didn't say anything, you didn't really hurt her. And thinking that way was only normal." I lowered my mouth to his ear and repeated, "You did nothing wrong."

He didn't reply and both of us stayed quiet for some time, and this time I broke it.

"I was the second daughter of a wealthy family. But cause I was the daughter of my father and his mistress, so everyone around seemed to act really cautious around me. My step-mother _hated_ me. I always felt out of place there. The only one I had; was my big sister."

Kano looked up at me at that, but he didn't say anything.

"Her mother didn't really approve of me, so we only got together when she left. My big sister was the most important person to me. But as we grew, she grew distant. She was five years older to me, but she wasn't told about the mistress; my mother. So maybe when she found out, I guess she was disgusted or upset or something.

"Dad's business was drowning and then when he went bankrupt, he flipped. And set the house on fire. What happened that night was a blur, but I know that my big sister was the one who helped me out of the mansion. She saved me."

He was still quiet. Then, "she must have been guilty. The way she treated you after finding out, maybe she wanted to make up for it."

"Maybe she did. But she was hurt then, I think she had sprained her ankle. If I helped her out, she would have been alive."

"You couldn't have, the fire must have made you hazy, and even helping your own self out must have been very hard for you", he said.

I didn't say anything. I didn't have anything to say.

"But you're still going to think it's your fault aren't you", Kano looked up at me, smiling at me a bit.

"You're in no place to talk", I grinned at him.

We cracked up laughing then. Our laughter was a bit sorrowful, but mostly in relief. Of finally sharing a burden that dragged us down so long.

"I always wanted to disappear but at the same time I never wanted to be alone. After my sister stopped stopping by my room, it started to terrify me; the room. I'm scared of being left alone", I admitted.

Kano rolled on to his back. "You want me to stay here then?"

I froze. Stay here? As in stay the night here? Alone? With Kano?

A part of me screamed yes. The more rational part reminded me that I wouldn't be able to keep my cool. But even then, it was Kano, being alone with him was normal, we were alone many times, it shouldn't make much of a difference to either of us.

So I nodded. And then I realized he was staring us at the ceiling, so I gave out a small, "yes."

He smiled and turned to look at me, before turning back away, with his back towards me. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while."

Conversations like this one honestly scared the crap out of me. Like where does that sudden 'we need to talk' come from. They're uncalled for and totally unfair. And even if you haven't done anything it scares you out of your skin. Like me right now. We're not even going out and I feel like he's gonna dump me.

"Yea?" I somehow managed to force out.

"Don't hate me for this, okay? I'm just telling you, you don't have to answer, and if you don't, you know… Argh, you know what, I'll just say it. Or wait forget it."

He was kinda freaking me out here.

"No it's okay", I told him, worried but curious.

"Nothing will change if you don't feel the same, okay?"

I frowned. "I promise."

He sat up and turned to me. Following him, I sat too. He was seriously freaking me out right now.

"So um, I, um…"

"Kano."

He looked up at me. "I love you."

 **A/N: I'm telling you I'm not a cliffhanger girl. And I'm SO SORRY for the long break, and this time I have a reasonable excuse. Exams and school work. I'm honestly totally burdened right now. I barely get time, and even the time I do get, I spend drowning in my sorrows (studying). I'm not gonna give up on the story though the updates won't be frequent. I'll try my best to update, but it might take a while till the next chapter. Again, I'm so sorry.**


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